Time is an illusion… Eons have gone by, yet it feels like a mere blink of the eye. When looking back at the last blog entry I posted, I was joking about the earthquake we experienced. Little did I know I would soon be experiencing my own personal tremors, that would shake me to the core. Ironic.
Mid-August my mother was told she had fibroids. Soon after it was discovered she had a tumor instead. She had surgery on September 14th, where it was actually discovered she has an aggressive stage 3C Ovarian Cancer. It spread. They were able to remove any visible tumors, however she has now just began a rigorous course of chemo. Things have been rough, emotionally, to say the least, but I do my best to remain positive and be strong everyday! Especially for her. My mother is not only that, but my best friend, my strength and the love of my life. She has loved me unconditionally from day one. I have to have faith that she will be okay.
That being said, we all know how much harder it is to stay on track with eating healthy and losing weight when there is added stress in our lives. I have never been so grateful to have the Band, as I have been now! My mind is still the same, and there are days where I feel so stressed I feel as if I could eat the whole house, much like Hansel & Gretel. Thankfully, where as in the past I most likely would have binged my way through the contents of my kitchen, I am unable to do so. The restriction the Band provides me with has been enough of a support tool, that I have actually still been able to lose weight during this tumultuous time. I’ve also decided I would like to make my body as cancer-hostile as possible, and am beginning to incorporate an even healthier diet into my life, trying to eat as “clean” as possible. This basically means that I am gradually reducing/cutting out white flour, sugars and any processed foods, including opting for meats that are organic and hormone-free. Some substitutions I’ve found that are great when it comes to baking are agave nectar and almond meal! I’ve also learned that incorporating endive & onions daily, as well as sea bass weekly, will help keep cancer away. Who knows if that fact will change one day (it seems those kinds of things often do)? I haven’t been able to do that, but hey, worth a shot I guess.
I’ve been feeling a multitude of emotions over these past couple months, but mainly the drive to live my life to the fullest has been at the forefront. This has raised questions like, “What do I want to do with my life?” “Where do I see myself in 5 years?”, etc. While I don’t have all the answers just yet, I do know that I’m torn between two loves… Psychology (going back to school for my Master’s or Doctorate’s and doing clinical work with adolescents) and Culinary (maybe taking a business course or two, and opening up a small bakery/café/luncheonette type place, specializing in good-for-you, wholesome food). What to do, what to do? Lol
For now I’m just taking each day as it comes and trying to at least to do one thing I love everyday!
Had my monthly visit at the NJLA office today! Lost 1lb (which I’m very okay with), so Dr. Silvestri added a “drop” to my Band. All together, I’ve lost a total of 56lbs since the surgery! (that brings my BMI down to 36.7, and completely out of the “Morbidly Obese” category. Yay!) Amazing. It still shocks me when I look at a new picture taken, or catch a glimpse of my reflection in a store window. Who is that girl? Is that really me? And, as it turns out, yes, it really is! I still have a long way to go, but at this moment in my journey I am feeling stronger than ever! I have so much energy and strength, and my self-confidence has sky-rocketed (even though I’m still struggling here, I know it’s a slow process, but I am a work-in-progress, and will continue to grow each day.)!
Thank you for everyone who’s been there beside me along this journey at any given point! I couldn’t have made it here, where I am today, without the support of all of you. You have each blessed my life in some way, and I will always be grateful!
May you be well, and remember to live your life to the fullest, the best you can… Carpe Diem!
No comments:
Post a Comment