A lot has been going on in my personal life the past 2 months, and while I haven't really had the time to write, I've missed it dearly!
Post WLS, as of this past Friday, the 22nd, I have lost a total of 36lbs. That being said, since my last post about 2 months ago, I've only lost 5lbs. This is due to partly to my not finding the right adjustment yet, and heavy stress triggers. I'm okay with this though, because this is a life-long journey, and what's 2 months in comparison?
I am learning to recognize the difference between true hunger and stress eating. I'm also becoming more attuned to my body and how I handle stress. Believe it or not, sometimes I don't even realize that I'm stressed out... it takes someone else to point it out to me. Then it's like, "Duh, Val!"
Here are some of my life updates (some of the stress is GOOD stuff), in no apparent order...
LIFE/RELATIONSHIPS
Remember way back when, I mentioned that great things were happening in my life and I would tell you about them soon enough?!? Well, sorry for the major delay, but basically... I'm engaged! That's right folks, ring-on-finger, date-set, location almost picked, engaged. Some of you reading this may already know this news. Let me assure those of you who had no idea and are surprised... it shocked the Hell outta me too! Oh, it's John, by the way! Without posting my complete personal life here, basically, John and I had been in a relationship for 9 years (yep... you read correctly... 9, as in almost a decade) together. We broke up, and have been apart for the past 2 years. March 1st, while talking about pretty much everything, John (out of nowhere) got down on his knee and said he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. Three weeks later, while visiting Kristen & Scott, he once again got down on one knee and proposed for a second time... this time with a ring. It was a very fulfilling moment for me, and the vintage-style ring is absolutely perfect!
As of June 1st, we've been living together (once again) in our new apartment! It was a mad dash trying to find one, but all worked out, and while the apartment is considerably small, it's really nice and in a quiet neighborhood. We like!
My soon-to-be Mother-in-Law (MIL) was in Colombia when all of this went down, and had no apartment when she returned, Soooo... she has been living with us! Yay! Ha Ha Nah, it hasn't been that bad, and is actually quite manageable. Knowing it's temporary is helpful, and having her there has actually proven quite advantageous. Which brings me to the next topic...
WORK
My position at Oasis runs from September through June, leaving me out of work, and out of an income for the summer! This is probably the most stressful factor in my life right now. I started really focusing all my time on job searching and sending out resumes near the end of June. I have yet to hear back from even one of those positions! I know it's hard out there, but do you have any idea what it's like to be 31 years old, have a college degree and plethora of qualifications, and somehow not be able to find a job?! I've been pretty much living on the few pennies I had, not able to pay all my bills, and really struggling these past few weeks. Any idea how damaging that can be to one's psyche? It's not pretty. That being said, I am doing my best to stay positive and hopeful, having faith that something will come along any minute! There is ONE prospect that seems somewhat hopeful... fingers crossed please everyone! :)
BAND/HEALTH
As I mentioned earlier, I haven't really been losing weight, but my body is changing and getting smaller. This is thanks to my re-introduction of the gym into my life! I've been going pretty regularly as many times as possible during the week, and have definitely noticed a difference, not only in the way I feel (strong, healthy), but in the way my clothes fit me! More and more items in my wardrobe are becoming obsolete. Shirts that I once "filled" and fit me snuggly, now hang loose. Pants that once couldn't close or gave me a muffin top, now need to be secured with a safety pin. Great non-scale measurements of success and self-confidence booster! Thank you Bally's! lol
That being said, I've still felt like I can eat more than I should be able to. That, combined with the fact that I'm a stress-eater (who isn't?!?), have been key in my number on the scale not budging. Well, that's not completely true... it did go up a few pounds during "that time of month", but I was able to shed those temporary pounds rather easily. So, after a month of trying to figure all these things out, I went for an adjustment. I was actually hesitant to go because I felt I was so close to filling my Band completely, and was afraid I would be the first person in history to have her Band filled to capacity and still be hungry! Gaspar saw me, looked at my chart, reassured me that my fear would not come to fruition, and said, "I think we just need to do this!" What he meant by that was adding a substantial amount of saline, as opposed to the 1/2CC's I'd been getting. He pulled out all the saline I had, to see exactly what was in there, and then added a full CC. John and I have actually been wondering if I was in fact too tight (for the first time!) since it's hard to get even liquids down sometimes. But, I've been adjusting better each day, and even though it's hard (especially first few bites), I am able to get food down and only the small portion that I should be eating. RESULT! :) (ha ha A little Coupling reference, for those of you who are familiar) I haven't been "throwing up", and as long as that's the case, I'm going to try and work with this adjustment.
MISCELLANEOUS
Finished watching all of Ghost Whisperer series awhile back! I liked. More recently I've made my way through The Office. Funny, funny show. We don't have cable, but do stream Netflix and Hulu Plus, so I've got plenty to keep me entertained.
Have been dreaming of opening my own cafe/bakery lately. Probably because I've got loads of free time on my hands these days! But, that's pretty much just a pipe dream. Need money for that! Would be nice though.
Another advantage to not working, which is also in conjunction with my sister working at Starbucks, is that I've enjoyed endless Iced Skim Lattes and lots of sissy-time so far this summer! :)
Ooh! I almost forgot one other measure of success... the other night I was getting ready to go to a party, and going through my jewelry. For the Hell of it, I decided to try on some rings that I haven't been able to wear in years! And they fit!!! Good feeling!
Also, I've lowered my BMI from a horrifying 47, to a slightly less horrifying 40.4 (as of Friday's weigh-in)!
And here are some more picture updates for your viewing pleasure!
Taken 5/5/2011 (at TWIN event, with Angelae):
Well, now that I've written a freakin' novel, I think I'll sign off for today. I'm actually waiting for my friend, Tracey to meet me! Oh, and here she is! :) Promise to be back soon! Have a great day!
