ONEderland!

Even though temps have been unseasonably warm so far this December, I am truly experiencing a Winter ONEderland. Yes, that "typo" is intentional. After my monthly visit to Dr. V this past Friday, I am officially out of the 200lbs and into the, more socially acceptable & healthy, 100lbs. Yay! This is so exciting for me on many levels. Firstly, I can't remember the last time the number staring back at me on the scale started with anything other than a "2". Really, it's been YEARS. Secondly, there is that much less weight for my 5'2" frame to be carrying around, which is so much better for my heart and bones. I am only 6 points away from being just run-of-the-mill "Overweight" on the BMI scale!

My Thanksgiving holiday was quite splendid this year. Went home, like usual, from Wednesday to Saturday. For the first time in many years, John was with me the whole time. My brother, sister and I (with John's help) cooked the entire Thanksgiving meal, and were only a little over an hour late serving! Ha ha We rocked the meal, and a good time was had by all. Once relatives and friends went home on Thanksgiving, the four of us played an enjoyable game of Scrabble together and watched a movie. The time home with mom was perfect! Sunday, John and I made Thanksgiving dinner for his family, which was also delectable and enjoyable.

I have been trying to get into the Christmas spirit, immersing myself in Christmas cheer... listening to Christmas music, writing out Christmas cards, and anxious to decorate. John and I also walked over to our town's tree lighting this past Sunday. It was great, and there was even free hot cocoa! I'm really looking forward to our Leyden Family Christmas party this upcoming Sunday. Can't wait to spend the time with family I hardly get to see.

Hope everyone is enjoying their holiday season thus far! I'll be back soon...

Updated pic of me over Thanksgiving weekend (11/25/2011):

NSV & Nonsense

Guess I should start off by clarifying the meaning of NSV, for those of you unfamiliar with weight-loss lingo. It simply stands for Non-Scale Victory! This is basically anything that provides positive feedback for you in regards to "weight-loss", other than the number on the scale. For example, your clothes no longer fitting you because they're too big, fitting into smaller-sized clothes, being able to climb a flight of stairs without getting winded, getting compliments from people, etc.

So, yesterday I had my annual physical... After the usual weigh-in, BP reading, etc., my doctor looked over my blood work, comparing it to last year's, and told me I had "wins" across the board! :) Here are my numbers this year, compared to last year...

Cholesterol (overall): 2010 = 229 / 2011 = 172 (57pt diff)
LDL (the bad stuff): 2010 = 138 / 2011 = 94 (44pt diff)
HDL (the good stuff): 2010 = 37 / 2011 = 42 (5pt diff Can still use improvement here, but better!)
Triglycerides: 2010 = 269 / 2011 = 178 (91pt diff!) 
And even though I never had a sugar problem (thank the Goddess), my glucose went from 86 in 2010 down to 73 this year.

As you can imagine, I am very happy about this bit of information!

And now a rant... I shouldn't get so upset, and expect it by now, but every year I am still unnerved about the premature exposure to all things Christmas. November 1st I had the unfortunate experience of not only seeing a house decorated and lit up, but also a large blow up reindeer planted in the middle of their front yard. Come on people! Let Halloween go out in style, and maybe even get through Thanksgiving first. Stores are already playing Christmas music. Ugh! Don't get me wrong, I love all things Christmas, but all in due time. I was raised with the belief that the Christmas season officially began when Santa (the real one) came in on the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade. And believe me, from the day after Thanksgiving through Christmas Day I listen to nothing but Christmas music, and enjoy those special Christmas movies. But not a moment sooner. And I hate the fact that it's shoved down my throat everywhere I go before then! I understand if you want to take advantage of warmer weather to decorate your house with lights. Really, I get that. Especially for older folks. But, there is no need to plug the cord in and light them up before Thanksgiving! And, going back to the blow-up decorations... I am just not a fan of those at all!!! For any holiday. They're huge, obnoxious, and use entirely too much energy. Sorry if I've offended anyone here... these are merely my opinions. 


Okay. Got that off my chest! A few side notes...


Horrible Bosses and The Change Up are funny movies, if you're in the mood for a decent comedy. I recommend. 


This weekend I'm going to PA to visit my best friends and "nephews". Kristen and I will also be continuing our tradition of going to see the new Twilight movie! Can't wait!


My sister was promoted to Shift Manager at Starbucks. She is very happy about this, and I couldn't be prouder! :) She deserves it!


Mom has completed 2 of her 6 chemo treatments, and thankfully still feels well. 


Well, Tracey should be here soon (at SBX), so I'll sign-off for now. Until next time...

Aftershock

Time is an illusion… Eons have gone by, yet it feels like a mere blink of the eye. When looking back at the last blog entry I posted, I was joking about the earthquake we experienced. Little did I know I would soon be experiencing my own personal tremors, that would shake me to the core. Ironic. 

Mid-August my mother was told she had fibroids. Soon after it was discovered she had a tumor instead. She had surgery on September 14^th, where it was actually discovered she has an aggressive stage 3C Ovarian Cancer. It spread. They were able to remove any visible tumors, however she has now just began a rigorous course of chemo. Things have been rough, emotionally, to say the least, but I do my best to remain positive and be strong everyday! Especially for her. My mother is not only that, but my best friend, my strength and the love of my life. She has loved me unconditionally from day one. I have to have faith that she will be okay.

That being said, we all know how much harder it is to stay on track with eating healthy and losing weight when there is added stress in our lives. I have never been so grateful to have the Band, as I have been now! My mind is still the same, and there are days where I feel so stressed I feel as if I could eat the whole house, much like Hansel & Gretel. Thankfully, where as in the past I most likely would have binged my way through the contents of my kitchen, I am unable to do so. The restriction the Band provides me with has been enough of a support tool, that I have actually still been able to lose weight during this tumultuous time. I’ve also decided I would like to make my body as cancer-hostile as possible, and am beginning to incorporate an even healthier diet into my life, trying to eat as “clean” as possible. This basically means that I am gradually reducing/cutting out white flour, sugars and any processed foods, including opting for meats that are organic and hormone-free. Some substitutions I’ve found that are great when it comes to baking are agave nectar and almond meal! I’ve also learned that incorporating endive & onions daily, as well as sea bass weekly, will help keep cancer away. Who knows if that fact will change one day (it seems those kinds of things often do)? I haven’t been able to do that, but hey, worth a shot I guess.

I’ve been feeling a multitude of emotions over these past couple months, but mainly the drive to live my life to the fullest has been at the forefront. This has raised questions like, “What do I want to do with my life?” “Where do I see myself in 5 years?”, etc. While I don’t have all the answers just yet, I do know that I’m torn between two loves… Psychology (going back to school for my Master’s or Doctorate’s and doing clinical work with adolescents) and Culinary (maybe taking a business course or two, and opening up a small bakery/café/luncheonette type place, specializing in good-for-you, wholesome food). What to do, what to do? Lol

For now I’m just taking each day as it comes and trying to at least to do one thing I love everyday!

Had my monthly visit at the NJLA office today! Lost 1lb (which I’m very okay with), so Dr. Silvestri added a “drop” to my Band. All together, I’ve lost a total of 56lbs since the surgery! (that brings my BMI down to 36.7, and completely out of the “Morbidly Obese” category. Yay!) Amazing. It still shocks me when I look at a new picture taken, or catch a glimpse of my reflection in a store window. Who is that girl? Is that really me? And, as it turns out, yes, it really is! I still have a long way to go, but at this moment in my journey I am feeling stronger than ever! I have so much energy and strength, and my self-confidence has sky-rocketed (even though I’m still struggling here, I know it’s a slow process, but I am a work-in-progress, and will continue to grow each day.)!

Thank you for everyone who’s been there beside me along this journey at any given point! I couldn’t have made it here, where I am today, without the support of all of you. You have each blessed my life in some way, and I will always be grateful!

May you be well, and remember to live your life to the fullest, the best you can… Carpe Diem!

Seismic

So, the east coast was shaken awake yesterday afternoon. Mother Nature thought we could use a little jolt. All I have to say is, "Dear West Coast... please keep your tremors to yourself. We're good with the hurricanes and flooding. Thanks. Your loving sibling, East Coast." The funny thing is, everyone was in such a tizzy, and it wasn't even catastrophic (Thank the Goddess!). You know Californians are mocking the hell out of us. LOL My brother was telling me that they were joking about the rate at which news spreads on the internet these days, thanks to Twitter and Facebook, saying that word of the quake was outrunning the quake itself, and people were hearing about it before they were feeling it. Crazy! We had CNN on during dinner last night and heard the anchor say, "After today's dramatic events..." Nick and I looked at each other in disbelief (thinking they were talking about the earlier tremble), then we realized they were talking about Libya... Ok. REAL news! Ha ha

Since the cocktail party, I seem to have shrunk some more. Not in LBs, but literally in clothing. Good thing I'm going back to work and have a new part-time job, because I am very close to needing all new clothes. Got rid of two more pairs of pants that are too big, and will go through my shirts tonight. One of my blue shirts (that I still need for work) is immense, and where my bosom once filled it to capacity, the material now drapes incredibly loose. I'm not complaining... it's definitely a good feeling! And, even though I still have quite a way to go, for the first time in a long time I am actually feeling comfortable in my own skin. Since the difference is measurably noticeable, I thought it was time to create a Before/After photo to post...

Me w/ my cousin, Kevin (LEFT taken 1/1/2011; RIGHT taken 8/7/2011)

This has been a busy week for me... started my new part-time job at Sears, so I've been working every day (yay!). Monday night went to the Studio at Webster Hall to see Julia Nunes play with my brother. Last night, my siblings and I had dinner at Abuela's. Tonight is catch-up. Tomorrow, spending the day with my mom and family dinner at night. Close the store on Friday night. Then Saturday picnic and heading upstate to spend the night at mom's and go to Wine Festival at Bethelwoods on Sunday. 

Oh, mentioning the picnic reminds me to tell you a little about a new project I'm co-working on. Some of us NJLA patients have been talking about getting together our own group of WLS survivors for extra support along this journey. We came up with a name (Twisted Banditz), Dan created a FB group page, I am working on designing an emblem/logo for the group (will post pic when done), and Alan came up with an idea to have a picnic in the park, which will be our kick-off event, to be held this Saturday! We've already had a great response and by the end of the day had almost 30 members join the group! The idea is to provide a healthy forum for extra support amongst our community, and share knowledge based on each of our strengths and accomplishments. We'll see where it goes, but for now it's just a fun project. Dan even ordered a ton of those rubber bracelets. lol

Well, that's all for now, folks! Hope you've been enjoying the splendid weather we've been blessed with these past few days, here in northern NJ.

Celebration of Life

Today marks 190 days since my surgery! And on day 186 I celebrated with many other WLS patients, as well as the staff from Dr. V's office! The annual Celebration of Life cocktail party for patients took place this last Saturday evening at The Assembly in Englewood Cliffs, NJ. It was a blast for sure! Top Night!

Last year I went w/ John as his date. I remember dreading dress-shopping, and procrastinated as long as possible. I finally found a decent, comfortable dress, but did not feel all that stunning. This year was the complete opposite! I actually didn't need to buy a dress, had the perfect little black dress and contrary to the previous year, felt confident and sexy. I fashioned my hair w/ a small white flower clip, securing some of the hair up on the right side of my face, leaving just a few wisps to frame my face. I couldn't wait to show up sparkling, flirty and dressed in my brand new perspective! My friend, and fellow WLS companion, Dan, was the first person I saw... he smiled and said, "Look at you, ready for the prom!" Having never had the pleasure, or misfortune, of having a high school prom, I felt a sort of inner-pleasure. This was my night. And truly they picked the perfect title for this soiree!

I enjoyed the evening by catching up w/ friends I've made along this journey, quality time w/ my siblings (who came as our "dates"), saving my daily caloric intake for several Dewar's & Diet Cokes (ha ha) and laughing, dancing my ass off w/ the NJLA staff (John's friends from work, who have become like a 2nd family to me)!

In a world where having a college degree doesn't necessarily mean you have a job, and relationships change like daily menu specials, it's nice to feel secure about something. I am ever grateful for the positive turn around in my life, and know that I have made some sincere, wonderful friends (Dan, Alan... Nicole. and several others I'm just now meeting) along the way, and can count on them to be there with me every step of this journey... and beyond!

Here are some pictures from Saturday's event (8/13/2011):

With my wonderful siblings (Sarah & Nick)!

Dan, Alan & Nicole

NJLA Girls (from top-left): Maria, Giselly, Indira, Elizabeth, Me, Stella & Tammy)

The famous, Gaspar, Me, John & Elizabeth

Sistahs

Dan & I (near the end of the evening!)

On a Roll Again!

Apparently that last adjustment I had was the key! Gaspar, you're the best! All of a sudden the weight seems to literally be melting off me, and it's happening so fast. Went for a weigh-in last Friday, the 5th, just to see how I did in the 2 weeks post-adjustment, and... I lost 6lbs in that short time (42lbs total)! As a result, I have also lowered my BMI to below 40, therefore no longer classifying me as, the horrifying, "Morbidly Obese". I'm a happy girl! Slowly, but surely, I'm getting there, and feel great in the process. Really couldn't be happier about my health situation. Also, it seems those 6 little pounds have made a significant difference in my appearance, because everyone seems to be amazed at how much smaller I look and thinner my face is, even if it's only been a few weeks since they last saw me. 

Over the summer, the practice held three softball games, Patients vs. Staff. The staff won the first game, and patients the second, so Thomas (ED of the practice, and husband to Dr. V) declared that the winner of the third and final game would receive a prize. Of course, us patients kicked ass by a staggering 23-10! The prize was our choice... either a 3-month supply of vitamins, or a spa treatment. I opted for the spa treatment, which I happened to redeem after my weigh-in on Friday. So, feeling light and elated, I headed to the Glenpointe where I enjoyed a manicure, 30min facial and 30min massage. My first professional massage ever. It was divine, but not nearly long enough! And, for those of you wondering, I had a male masseuse... figured I might as well go big! Ha ha

Spent Saturday at the Bronx Zoo with Mauro, Claudia & her son, Andre. It was a lot of fun! They had this "Passport" excursion for children, that I played with Andre... we went all over the zoo getting the passports stamped and were able to fill them!

Watched Source Code the other day... it was pretty good. But, the movie I saw recently that I really loved was Limitless with Bradley Cooper (love that man!)... it was awesome!!! Highly recommend it. If you see it, let me know what you think. Anyone have any other movie recommendations for me?

Had a discussion with my friend last night about how the English language isn't what it used to be. Words used to be rich and saturated with lavishness. Now everything is "Yo" "Sup?" and "Um, like". When did we become so lazy and languid? I was thinking about how the Romeo & Juliet balcony scene might sound today... "Fuck, Romeo! Why the Hell do you have to be a fuckin' Montague? Dude! I mean, I guess it doesn't really matter, it's just a name. Coffee's still coffee whether you call it java, joe or what-have-you. Whatevs. Guess I could just give up my name? Fuck it! Let my parents try and stop me. I'm old enough to do what I want!" As opposed to the classic, "Romeo, Romeo. Wherefore art thou, Romeo? Deny thy father and refuse they name. Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love, and I'll no longer be a Capulet...What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet, so Romeo would, were he not Romeo called." Oh well... what would a post be without a little side-rant from me, right? Ha ha Something to ponder...

Well, my sister's off her shift, so I'm going to go hang out with her. Have a lovely day... it's beautiful here!

Walking on the Moon

My current soundtrack as I write this long overdue blog entry. The lyrics of this Police song are actually kinda cool and fitting in a way. I'm sitting here at Starbucks... my sister was working all day, so I thought I'd hang here and get to see her too!

A lot has been going on in my personal life the past 2 months, and while I haven't really had the time to write, I've missed it dearly!

Post WLS, as of this past Friday, the 22nd, I have lost a total of 36lbs. That being said, since my last post about 2 months ago, I've only lost 5lbs. This is due to partly to my not finding the right adjustment yet, and heavy stress triggers. I'm okay with this though, because this is a life-long journey, and what's 2 months in comparison?

I am learning to recognize the difference between true hunger and stress eating. I'm also becoming more attuned to my body and how I handle stress. Believe it or not, sometimes I don't even realize that I'm stressed out... it takes someone else to point it out to me. Then it's like, "Duh, Val!"

Here are some of my life updates (some of the stress is GOOD stuff), in no apparent order...

LIFE/RELATIONSHIPS
Remember way back when, I mentioned that great things were happening in my life and I would tell you about them soon enough?!? Well, sorry for the major delay, but basically... I'm engaged! That's right folks, ring-on-finger, date-set, location almost picked, engaged. Some of you reading this may already know this news. Let me assure those of you who had no idea and are surprised... it shocked the Hell outta me too! Oh, it's John, by the way! Without posting my complete personal life here, basically, John and I had been in a relationship for 9 years (yep... you read correctly... 9, as in almost a decade) together. We broke up, and have been apart for the past 2 years. March 1st, while talking about pretty much everything, John (out of nowhere) got down on his knee and said he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. Three weeks later, while visiting Kristen & Scott, he once again got down on one knee and proposed for a second time... this time with a ring. It was a very fulfilling moment for me, and the vintage-style ring is absolutely perfect!

As of June 1st, we've been living together (once again) in our new apartment! It was a mad dash trying to find one, but all worked out, and while the apartment is considerably small, it's really nice and in a quiet neighborhood. We like!

My soon-to-be Mother-in-Law (MIL) was in Colombia when all of this went down, and had no apartment when she returned, Soooo... she has been living with us! Yay! Ha Ha Nah, it hasn't been that bad, and is actually quite manageable. Knowing it's temporary is helpful, and having her there has actually proven quite advantageous. Which brings me to the next topic...

WORK
My position at Oasis runs from September through June, leaving me out of work, and out of an income for the summer! This is probably the most stressful factor in my life right now. I started really focusing all my time on job searching and sending out resumes near the end of June. I have yet to hear back from even one of those positions! I know it's hard out there, but do you have any idea what it's like to be 31 years old, have a college degree and plethora of qualifications, and somehow not be able to find a job?! I've been pretty much living on the few pennies I had, not able to pay all my bills, and really struggling these past few weeks. Any idea how damaging that can be to one's psyche? It's not pretty. That being said, I am doing my best to stay positive and hopeful, having faith that something will come along any minute! There is ONE prospect that seems somewhat hopeful... fingers crossed please everyone! :)

BAND/HEALTH
As I mentioned earlier, I haven't really been losing weight, but my body is changing and getting smaller. This is thanks to my re-introduction of the gym into my life! I've been going pretty regularly as many times as possible during the week, and have definitely noticed a difference, not only in the way I feel (strong, healthy), but in the way my clothes fit me! More and more items in my wardrobe are becoming obsolete. Shirts that I once "filled" and fit me snuggly, now hang loose. Pants that once couldn't close or gave me a muffin top, now need to be secured with a safety pin. Great non-scale measurements of success and self-confidence booster! Thank you Bally's! lol

That being said, I've still felt like I can eat more than I should be able to. That, combined with the fact that I'm a stress-eater (who isn't?!?), have been key in my number on the scale not budging. Well, that's not completely true... it did go up a few pounds during "that time of month", but I was able to shed those temporary pounds rather easily. So, after a month of trying to figure all these things out, I went for an adjustment. I was actually hesitant to go because I felt I was so close to filling my Band completely, and was afraid I would be the first person in history to have her Band filled to capacity and still be hungry! Gaspar saw me, looked at my chart, reassured me that my fear would not come to fruition, and said, "I think we just need to do this!" What he meant by that was adding a substantial amount of saline, as opposed to the 1/2CC's I'd been getting. He pulled out all the saline I had, to see exactly what was in there, and then added a full CC. John and I have actually been wondering if I was in fact too tight (for the first time!) since it's hard to get even liquids down sometimes. But, I've been adjusting better each day, and even though it's hard (especially first few bites), I am able to get food down and only the small portion that I should be eating. RESULT! :) (ha ha A little Coupling reference, for those of you who are familiar) I haven't been "throwing up", and as long as that's the case, I'm going to try and work with this adjustment.

MISCELLANEOUS
Finished watching all of Ghost Whisperer series awhile back! I liked. More recently I've made my way through The Office. Funny, funny show. We don't have cable, but do stream Netflix and Hulu Plus, so I've got plenty to keep me entertained.

Have been dreaming of opening my own cafe/bakery lately. Probably because I've got loads of free time on my hands these days! But, that's pretty much just a pipe dream. Need money for that! Would be nice though.

Another advantage to not working, which is also in conjunction with my sister working at Starbucks, is that I've enjoyed endless Iced Skim Lattes and lots of sissy-time so far this summer! :)

Ooh! I almost forgot one other measure of success... the other night I was getting ready to go to a party, and going through my jewelry. For the Hell of it, I decided to try on some rings that I haven't been able to wear in years! And they fit!!! Good feeling!

Also, I've lowered my BMI from a horrifying 47, to a slightly less horrifying 40.4 (as of Friday's weigh-in)!

And here are some more picture updates for your viewing pleasure!

Taken 5/5/2011 (at TWIN event, with Angelae):

Taken 7/17/2011:

Well, now that I've written a freakin' novel, I think I'll sign off for today. I'm actually waiting for my friend, Tracey to meet me! Oh, and here she is! :) Promise to be back soon! Have a great day!